In our morning service, Shachrit, we read the Baruch She'amar prayer (10th century): "Blessed in the One who Spoke and the world came into being". According to our tradition, the world was created through words/utterances. First associated with God speaking the world into being in Genesis, we learn that reality is created through words.
Pirkei Avot 5:1 (: the world was created through 10 utterances.
Words, in Judaism, are not only important, they are the building blocks, like Legos, of reality.
In our Torah portion this week, Emor Leviticus 21:1-24:23, we find a short little story. Narrative stories in Leviticus are rare so this story makes my ears perk up. This is the story of the blasphemer. In this biblical telling a certain man quarrels with another man, swears and uses God's holy name within the context of a conflict. Not the right place or time for bringing God into things. His punishment for using God's holy name, the four letter tetragrammaton, is death. He is taken outside the camp and stoned to death. It is hard core. And it is hard to find commentary on this Torah passage because it is so severe and we do nothing like this in our contemporary practice. As a mom I like this story. As violent and disturbing as it is. I like the focus on the power of words. And I relish the opportunity to point out how damaging hurtful words can be within a family. The end result of hurtful words, of using words to harm, is a sort of death. Allow me to explain.
Blasphemy is using words that hurt at the soul level, the place where god resides in your relationship. This is how I am understanding this story within the context of modern Jewish life. No one is going to be taken back out side the temple and pelted with stones if they use God's name in vain or quarrel with other members. We do not castigate people for using the Holy name, as none of us know how to pronounce it. And if someone tries to pronounce it-no big deal. That is not blasphemy. Blasphemy is using words to kill holy relationships. The connection between holiness, Divinity and words is clear and is still relevant for us today. Words heal and words hurt. Use them with care. Be careful about what you create with your words.
My kids, my two boys age 10 and 16, argue all the time. It is to the point that I just put in ear plug or head phones and pray they will find me if there is spilling of blood. I worry though. About the words they use with each other. I want them to understand the power of words within intimate relationships-family, fiends and community. When you call names, when you assault each other with disparaging remarks-stupid, fat, clumsy, idiot-you kill something within your relationship. There is a little death.
You can't take back hurtful comments. They exist in their own realm. They take life of their own. And they can corrode the relationship from within. I want my boys to be in loving relationship their entire lives. They might not think calling each other mean names is a big deal, long term, but I do. We speak of the home being the small sanctuary of the the Divine, a place to cultivate love for each other and for God. One way we can foster this as parents is to teach our children: words create reality. Use them carefully. Do not use your words as weapons to wound because those wounds take a long time to heal, if ever. And sometimes those wounds become infected and lead to the death of a relationship.
I can't control what comes out of anyone's mouth but my own. I can teach my children the wisdom of our people. I can teach them that to insult someone, to hurt them with words, is blasphemy. It is an assault on holiness. Name calling hurts that which is most precious and important in our lives: our loving relationships with others. The only Name one should call on in a fight is the Name of the Holy One, to come into the space between those in conflict and bring peace to the family.
